Evaluating Our Actions and Finding Meaning in Life

How do you know if something you did was the right call? Was it helpful, or did it end up causing more harm than good? The truth is, you don’t really know until you see the results. Let’s say you lend your friend some cash because you want to help them out. It feels like a kind gesture at the time. But then you find out they spent it on something that wasn’t good for them, like junk food that made them sick.

Suddenly, your “nice” action doesn’t seem so great. So, how do we decide what’s a good move in the moment? We rely on our experiences, our values, and what we think gives our life meaning. For example, if you value honesty and you’ve seen it lead to good outcomes—like building trust with friends—you’re more likely to think being honest is always the way to go.

Looking at Actions Over Time

It’s one thing to judge a single action, like lending money or telling the truth, based on what happens right after. But life isn’t just a string of single moments—it’s a big picture made up of years, even decades, of choices. How do you know if all those actions added up to a life well-lived? The answer lies in looking back and rethinking things as you grow older and gain new perspectives.

When you’re young, you might have big dreams about what your life’s purpose is—maybe you want to be a doctor who saves lives, a musician who rocks stadiums, or a soldier fighting for a cause. As you get older, those ideas often shift. They become more layered, more realistic, or sometimes they disappear entirely.

For some people, life starts to feel meaningless, and they might lean into just chasing fun or instant gratification—a mindset that can lead to nihilism (the belief that nothing matters) or hedonism (living only for pleasure).

But here’s something interesting: based on conversations with older folks in counseling, that sense of meaning often comes roaring back as people age. When the end of life feels closer, people start asking big questions: What was my purpose? What did I do with my life? These aren’t just random thoughts—they’re a natural part of reflecting on everything you’ve done.

Discovering Your Life’s Meaning

Here’s the thing: your life’s meaning isn’t something you just pick out of a hat or decide on a whim. It’s more like something you uncover over time, almost like it’s been inside you all along. Your passions, your motivations, the things that light you up—they’re clues to what your purpose might be.

For example, maybe you’ve always felt drawn to helping others, like taking care of people who are struggling. Becoming a nurse, a teacher, or even a volunteer might bring you a deep sense of fulfillment because it matches that inner drive. Even if it doesn’t pay a ton, you might look back at the end of your life and feel content, knowing you lived out your purpose by supporting others.

But what if you ignore that pull? What if, say, your family or society pushes you into a high-paying job you don’t care about, like being a lawyer or an accountant, when your heart’s not in it? You might make a lot of money, but when you’re older, looking back, you could feel a sense of regret, like you missed out on what you were meant to do. Your meaning doesn’t have to be tied to your job, though. It could be about the time you spend with family, the friendships you nurture, or the hobbies that make you lose track of time. The key is that you only really understand your purpose when you reflect on your life as a whole, often toward the end.

Living with the End in Mind

So, how do you make choices today that you’ll feel good about years from now? One way is to imagine yourself at the end of your life, looking back. What kind of life would make you say, “Yeah, I lived well. I’m happy with what I did”?

Every decision you make—how you treat people, how you spend your time, what you prioritize—adds up to create the story of your life. If you live in a way that aligns with your values and your sense of purpose, you’re more likely to feel at peace when you reflect later on.

For example, if being kind and building strong relationships matters to you, then small actions like checking in on a friend or helping a sibling with their homework can add up to a life you’re proud of. If you value creativity, maybe you dedicate time to painting, writing, or playing music, even if it’s just for yourself. The point is to make choices that feel true to you, so that when you’re older, you can look back and feel like your life was meaningful—not perfect, but yours.

Living this way can make the idea of life’s end less scary. If you’ve spent your days doing things that matter to you, you might even feel ready to say, “This was a good place to stop.” It’s not about having no regrets—everyone has some—but about knowing you lived in a way that felt right for you.