Death Anxiety: Why We Fear Mortality and How to Cope

Death is something we all have to face, no matter who we are. It doesn’t care if you’re rich or poor, where you’re from, or who you love—it comes for everyone. Existentialist philosophers call it the “great equalizer” because it’s the one thing we all share, no matter our differences. But this unavoidable truth can be a heavy weight on our minds.

Some thinkers, like those in the existentialist camp, believe that everything we do in life—our goals, our actions, even our dreams—is shaped by the fact that we know death is coming. They say we’re constantly trying to avoid thinking about it or finding ways to push it away, even if we don’t realize it. And that effort? It can fill us with anxiety. So, how do we deal with this looming reality? Let’s explore three common ways: trying to live beyond death, attempting to prevent it, and flat-out denying it.

Trying to Live Beyond Death

One way we cope with the idea of death is by chasing things that make us feel like we’ll live on after we’re gone. Think about people who aim for big achievements—like breaking a world record, climbing an unclimbed mountain, discovering a new scientific theory, or writing a book that everyone’s talking about. These things can make your name last long after you’re not here anymore. Fame, legacy, recognition—they’re like a way to cheat death, at least in our minds.

But are these goals always about something bigger, like advancing humanity or just enjoying life? Or could they be driven by a deep, maybe even unconscious, fear of death? It’s hard to say for sure. Someone might claim they’re climbing that mountain for the thrill or to inspire others, but if they dig deep, they might wonder if part of it is about leaving a mark that outlives them.

With fewer people turning to religion for comfort about death, our culture seems to lean hard into fame as a substitute. Reality TV shows like Big Brother or Ex on the Beach make fame feel within reach, even for people who haven’t done anything extraordinary. Why are these shows so popular? Maybe because they tap into that desire to be remembered, to feel like we’ve beaten death by being known. But if everyone’s chasing fame for fame’s sake, does that water down what gives life meaning? It’s worth thinking about.

Trying to Prevent Death

Another way we deal with death is by trying to keep it as far away as possible. On the surface, this looks like living a healthy life—eating well, exercising, avoiding things like smoking or too much junk food. These are great habits, and they can help you feel good right now while setting you up for a longer, healthier life. But what happens when these choices come from fear instead of a desire to thrive? If you’re obsessed with avoiding death, healthy habits can turn into something unhealthy for your mind.

For example, eating well is awesome, but if you’re constantly tracking every single calorie, stressing over every bite, or feeling guilty for eating a slice of cake, that’s not living—it’s being controlled by fear. Same goes for things like washing your hands obsessively because you’re terrified of germs.

These behaviors might start with good intentions, but when they’re driven by a fear of dying, they can take over your life and stress you out. Plus, if you’re a parent, you might pass these habits on to your kids, teaching them to live in fear too. The line between taking care of yourself and being ruled by anxiety about death is thin, and it’s something to watch out for.

Denying Death Altogether

Then there’s denial—pretending death isn’t coming by refusing to accept the natural process of aging. You see this in things like getting Botox, plastic surgery, or dyeing your hair to hide the grays. Some people date partners way younger than them or try to live like they’re still in their 20s, even when they’re much older.

Now, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to look good or feel young at heart—sometimes it’s just about confidence or fun. But when these choices come from a refusal to accept that you’re getting older, they might be a way of avoiding the truth: aging brings you closer to death.

If you’re not aware of this fear, it can control you without you even realizing it. You might think you’re just “staying youthful,” but deep down, it could be about dodging the reality of death. The problem is, living in denial means you’re not fully in charge of your choices. Becoming aware of this fear—really facing it—gives you back control. It lets you make decisions because they feel right for you, not because you’re running from something you can’t escape.

Facing Death to Live Fully

Death is scary to think about, no doubt. But existentialists would argue that it’s exactly this fear that pushes us to live, to create, to chase meaning. The trick is to recognize how it shapes your actions without letting it take over. Whether you’re aiming for fame, eating kale every day, or trying to look forever young, ask yourself: Is this about living my best life, or is it about avoiding the end?

Being honest with yourself can help you focus on what really matters—building a life that feels meaningful, not just one that keeps death at arm’s length. Because in the end, death is coming for all of us. The question is, how do you want to live until it gets here?