The Art of Self Love: A Transformative Journey Within

Love is one of those words we hear all the time—tossed around casually, like when someone says they “love” pizza or their favorite song. But when we overuse it like that, it starts to lose its weight, its meaning. On the flip side, if we avoid saying it altogether, it can feel like this huge, intimidating thing we’re scared to even whisper. Love is powerful, but it’s also tricky. It’s not just about romantic feelings or caring for others—it starts with something closer to home: loving yourself. In this series, we’re diving into three kinds of love: self love, love from parents, and love for other people. Let’s kick things off by talking about self love, because it’s the foundation for everything else.

Why Loving Yourself Matters

You’ve probably heard the saying, “You can’t love someone else until you love yourself.” It sounds like something you’d see on a motivational poster, but there’s real truth to it. If you don’t take care of yourself or value who you are, it’s hard to show up fully for others. Think about it: if you’re neglecting yourself—skipping meals, beating yourself up for mistakes, or ignoring your needs—you’re running on empty. That makes it tough to give love to anyone else, whether it’s a friend, a family member, or a partner. Self love isn’t just a feel-good buzzword; it’s about treating yourself with the same kindness and respect you’d give someone you care about. So, what does it actually look like, and how do you make it part of your life?

Two Sides of Self Love

Self love isn’t just one thing—it’s got two important parts: loving yourself right now and loving the person you’ll be in the future. Both are crucial, and ignoring either one can mess with your mental health and happiness.

Loving Yourself Today

This is all about being kind to yourself in the present moment. It’s giving yourself permission to relax, to enjoy things, to be human. Maybe that means taking a break to watch your favorite show, going for a walk to clear your head, or treating yourself to a snack you love (without feeling guilty about it). It’s about talking to yourself the way you’d talk to a good friend—gently, with understanding. If you mess up a test or have a bad day, instead of thinking, “I’m such a failure,” try saying, “It’s okay, I’m still learning.” That’s loving yourself today. It’s about finding joy in the little things and not being too hard on yourself when life gets tough.

But here’s the catch: if you only focus on loving yourself today, you might end up living just for the moment. That could mean eating junk food all day, skipping homework, or staying up too late scrolling on your phone. Sure, that feels good right now, but it’s not so great for the version of you who has to deal with the consequences tomorrow. That’s where the second part comes in.

Loving Yourself Tomorrow

This is about looking out for the person you’ll be in the future—tomorrow, next month, or even years from now. Think of yourself as not just one person but a whole bunch of “yous” stretched out over time. Every choice you make today affects those future versions of yourself. Eating healthy, staying active, doing your schoolwork, or even just getting enough sleep—these are ways to show love to the future you. It’s like leaving a gift for yourself down the road, whether that’s feeling stronger, being prepared for a test, or having energy to chase your goals.

But focusing only on the future you can be just as unhealthy. If you’re always stressing about what’s next—studying non-stop, saying no to fun, or pushing yourself too hard—you might burn out. You’re not a robot, and the “you” today needs care too. That’s why self love is about balance.

Finding the Sweet Spot

So, how do you love both the “you” of today and the “you” of tomorrow? Picture it like a seesaw. On one side, you’ve got things that make you happy right now: chilling with friends, playing video games, or taking a nap. On the other side, you’ve got things that set you up for the future: eating a balanced meal, hitting the gym, or spending an hour on that science project. The trick is to keep the seesaw level, so neither side weighs too much.

For example, let’s say you’ve had a long day and just want to veg out. That’s fine—watch an episode of your favorite show or listen to music to unwind. That’s loving yourself today. But maybe later, you spend 30 minutes reviewing your notes or go for a quick walk to get your blood pumping. That’s loving yourself tomorrow. Some activities even check both boxes, like hanging out with friends (fun now) while talking about your dreams and plans (good for future you).

Why This Matters

Balancing these two kinds of self love isn’t selfish—it’s essential. When you take care of yourself, you’re building a strong foundation. You’re happier, healthier, and more confident, which makes it easier to show up for the people in your life. Think of it like putting on your oxygen mask first on an airplane—you can’t help others if you’re struggling to breathe. Self-love gives you the strength to care for others, whether it’s being there for a friend or building stronger relationships with your family. We’ll dive into those kinds of love in the next parts of this series, so stay tuned!